Lulu Lockjaw

Thursday, December 31, 2009

Team Awesome Fends Off Team SeXY, 132-102

Team Awesome Fends Off Team SeXY, 132-102

This was such an AWESOME experience and I am so stoked that I got to participate in kicking those boys behinds!

BANKED TRACKED RULES!!!!!

Thanks Team Awesome for a great weekend of classes, scrimmaging and soreness!

Friday, November 13, 2009

Teamwork off the track?


If you can’t work as a team off the track, how are you supposed to work as a team on the track?

I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately. If we can’t get along as league mates, how can we possibly work as teammates? I research other teams, read interviews, look at pictures, watch them at after parties and there is one HUGE difference between our team and other teams, they actually like each other. I know that sounds bad, but I think it’s true.

I watch other teams, they travel together and they want to sit next to each other on the plane, they all want to rent houses together, or at least stay in the same hotel room. I feel like our team can’t even spend an hour on the road together without an eye roll, heavy sighing, complaining, or people just blatantly being separatist! Now, before I paint this picture, I must say, I am just as guilty as anyone of the previous aforementioned offenses. I love my team, I have my moments where I want to kill certain people, but for the most part, I love my team, on and off the track. I don’t think that they all feel that way. Some of them, show up, skate, and leave. Other than the physical act of derby, I don’t think they want to hang out with the team.

At one after party, I watched the other team dance with each other, hang out, take pictures, they looked so happy. And I wanted to cry, it made me long for that with our team. I want us all to bond; I want us to love each other. I am so tired of the fighting, the negativity, the individualism, and again, I have been guilty of that too, but I am done. Next season, gosh darn it, I refuse to let the team go there. Come hell or high water, we will be a TEAM that likes each other. I think we need to bond more as a team. We need to let go of our opinions, our individualism, our negativity, and stop fighting each other.

Our league went through a lot this year, and it should have brought us closer, but I think it tore us apart. And instead of focusing on the team, we had to focus on bullshit, a ton of bullshit that I don’t even want to talk about for so many reasons, the main one is because it’s my league’s personal shit. This year has been the biggest emotional derby ride, and I almost skated away from it. I didn’t though; I didn’t want to let down my league, my team, or myself. I have put blood, sweat and tears into making SCDG the best damn league ever. I have sacrificed friendships, for what I feel is the best interest of SCDG. It’s been rough, but its so worth it.

Picture by Adrian Valenzuela

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Fan Mail


While I was waiting for tryouts to start last night, Shammy comes up and hands me an envelope. It took me a few seconds to register that this was addressed to me at the PO Box. The envelope says " I Love Lulu"! Its my first piece of fan mail. Her name is Edie! She drew me an awesome picture. Seriously, Edie has no idea that she made my season. This is the most awesome thing that anyone has ever done.

So thank you Edie for the awesome picture, and the feelings associated with fan mail, now I feel a hero to a future rollergirl.

And Edie, I mailed you out something special in the mail today!

Saturday, October 17, 2009

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

End of the Season


I haven’t blogged in awhile, we’ve been busy, and I really haven’t had much to say. I don’t really have much to say now, but I feel inclined to vomit a little.

Ok, I’m tired, really tired. Here it is a week and a half away from the last bout of the season, a long season. I realized today that after the 24th, I will have skated in 12 bouts for Santa Cruz, whew! It has been a rollercoaster of emotion, mental deterioration and physicality. Even though this is my second season, I really feel it has been my first. This season I focused more on strategy, the rules, and learning everything, and I mean everything, I could about rollerderby. I watched every single one of our games, at least twice, watched all four weekends of regionals, and tried to get to any outside scrimmages I could. I overcommitted to everything at rollercon, taking 8 classes and skating in 7 challenge bouts. On top of derby saturation, I sit on our Board of Directors, am on the Coaching Committee and am Captain of our All Star team. Again, I say whew. This is all on top of working 40 hours a week, getting engaged this year, planning a wedding and becoming a stepmom. Yep, I am tired. The messed up thing about this is that, most the girls on our league are just as committed if not more, some of them work 2-3 jobs and go to school. Come Oct 26th, I am officially in the off season. It really couldn’t come any quicker.
I think as a league, we’re all tired. We went through a lot of change at the beginning of the season, which I feel put a strain on the All Star team and our connection with each other. Damn we are some opinionated ladies. I think after a few months we finally started to get our connection back, it started out slowly with the Jet City game, and every game after that we left the track more and more stoked on how well we are playing as a team. I am so ready for this game. I can’t wait to hit the track with my team kill it.
We are playing short this game, not the normal 14 person roster. We’ve had some injuries and retirements at the end of the season. Raven is out with a blown ACL, Kiki broke her ankle, Rowdy’s got some knee issues and Kicken retired at the beginning of the month.
This is the season where we’ve done it all and learned it all. We had our first travel game where we had to fly, we learned we need a deeper bench to accommodate injuries, and we’ve learned that we need to pull these B team players up faster.
I’ve learned a lot about myself too. I need to be more positive, more encouraging, I need to say what I mean without being mean when I say it, I need to support my team no matter what. It’s not my responsibility to yell or scream at them, and its not very nice. I learned that its not as important to win as it is to have teamwork and feel accomplished on and off the track.
Going into this next game, I hope to remember everything I learned and apply it. I hope to have time in the off season to work on my goals for next year. I wanna come out next season on fire and twice as good as I am now.

Friday, September 11, 2009

Eastern Regionals


Happening now!

Game 1: DC vs CT Rollergirls
DC won 139-70. They are scheduled to play again this afternoon at 4:30 EST against Charm City.

Game 2: Steel City vs Dominon
Steel City won 227-27 (not sure if this was the final score, was hard to find on DNN). Steel City will play Philly tonight at 6:15 EST.

Game 3: Gotham vs Providence
Halftime score is 85-6 Gotham. Whoever wins this game will play the winner of the Carolina vs Boston game (6) Sat night at 6:15 EST.

I love this time of year, YAY FOR REGIONALS!

Monday, August 31, 2009

San Diego or Bust


San Deigo or Bust.

No seriously, help us get to San Diego.

We are playing the San Deigo Diego Rollers, a flat track game at the Del Mar Fairgrounds on September 26th.

This is probably the game I am most excited about. Not only do I love those San Diego girls, but I love their banked track.

I went down there in the beginning of January and practiced with the SDDD one night, super rad! SplintHer took me on the banked track and let me play around. It was a lot different than I thought it was gonna be. It looks steeper than it feels. It was fast and fun. It felt really natural, and I can only attribute that to skating the skate parks.

So please come out to our event and support us.

As a skater, I pay $50 a month in dues, pay for part of my uniform, all my travel expenses. Any little bit of donations is appreciated to alleviate some of the monetary stress of playing derby.

Thank you!

Friday, August 21, 2009

Santa Cruz Derby Girls Harbor Hellcats vs Silicon Valley Killa.Bytes



Come check out Santa Cruz Derby Girls amazing Harbor Hellcats take on the Silicon Valley Killa.Bytes. Guaranteed to be a tough game for both sides. Santa Cruz Boardwalk Bombshells lost to the Silicon Valley Dot.Kamikazes on June 13 by 31 points.




Saturday, Aug 22, 2009


Santa Cruz Civic Auditorium


Doors at 5:45, bout starts at 6:30




Ok, not that I am not excited for our skaters, but I can hardly contain myself for the halftime show. Our very own...SANTA CRUZ DERBY GROMS.








Thats right ladies and gentlemen. Santa Cruz has been fostering a jr derby summer camp for the last 8 weeks, and this Saturday our girls get to show off all their hard work.








Thursday, August 13, 2009

Blockers don't wear panties


Blockers don’t wear panties.

Oh I miss not wearing panties. I really, really love blocking. I really, really miss blocking. I love being in the pack, I miss strategy, I miss working with my team. I don’t know what happened this season, but somehow my coach decided that I was gonna be a jammer. And, I guess I am good at jamming because they keep playing me there! And shit, somebody had to do it (if Heather wasn’t so rad and her baby so darn cute, I would curse her), so I took one for the team. Ok, so jamming ain’t so bad, and not to toot my own horn, I have had a couple of good games. Even though we lost to SVRG, I killed it; I scored 43 out of the 100 points. Sorry, I just patted myself on the back, which is something I never do. And I was the highest point scorer for the Bako game with 45 points. Again, another pat, so what!

But seriously, I miss blocking. I went to Rollercon and barely jammed in any of my challenge bouts (mostly because I wanted to block, but part of it was that the floor scared me). I blocked every chance I got! All last season I aspired to be a PB and J and I think this year I finally accomplished that. Put me in anywhere and I will play that position. I know how to switch from jammer to blocker confidently and understand the strategy that comes with both. Pivot is something I am fine tuning, but the more I learn about roller derby, the more I learn about strategy and that helps. My ultimate goal is my endurance, which I think is good, but it could be so much better. I don’t wanna get tired in games (though that almost never happens) and play sloppy or slow. I wanna be able to block, rest, jam, block, rest…ok; I really just wanna play in every jam. I wanna be able to play my best exhausted so my coach knows she can put me in no matter what and I am going to perform.

I think jammers get too much credit. As a jammer, you’re only as good as your blockers. If your blocking isn’t on point, than your jammers are going to have to work that much harder during a game. Blockers don’t get enough credit. It seems to me that if you don’t have a panty on your head, than somehow people don’t think you do anything during the game. Panty doesn’t equal special. Anyhow, it’s all derby to me, no matter what position you play, and every position is important.

Santa Cruz Derby Girls vs Port City Rollergirls



Its been about a month since our last bout. And I am ready to play with my team. With a few roster changes, we are ready to kick butt!

Monday, August 10, 2009

Newbie Checklist For Roller Derby

Santa Cruz Derby Girls had tryouts on July 19 and we now have 24 new members of SCDG. Last Monday was their first practice and it was awesome. They killed it, not one person fell out of a drill. They all seem super stoked and that makes me super stoked, its the future of SCDG. So in light of all the new FM we have, I decided to post a little article from Fracture Magazine that I found.



Enjoy!











Newbie Checklist
By Switchblade Siouxsie
A survival list for those ladies just beginning
Posted Oct 08, 2008
Download the printable Newbie Checklist in PDF format

So, you’re just starting out. You’re a little shy, and you’re intimated by the giant girls on skates that have been slamming each other around for at least a year. You don’t want to look stupid by asking what sort of things you will need to tryout. It’s tough starting out, trying to figure what you need, how the game works, what kind of maintenance you’re going to need to keep up your equipment, whether or not you’ll even make a team, and whether or not you will get killed as soon as you touch the floor. We’ve all been there. We’ve all sweated at the thought of trying to become a part of this tight knit group, and how to fit in without looking like an idiot. Well, here is your guide to picking what’s right and acting like you’ve got it going on.




CLICK ON THE LINK BELOW TO TAKE YOU TO FRACUTRE MAGAZINE AND THE REST OF THE ARTICLE.












Friday, August 7, 2009

Post Rollercon Depression

Its hard coming back to reality after spending 6 days in Vegas for Rollercon. I spent 20 hours in 4 days on skates. I played in 6 challenge bouts, and took 7 classes, and watched tons of derby. I wish I played derby for a living, or, at the very least, I wish Santa Cruz had a huge wharehouse where we could set up a track and I could practice every day, for as long as I wanted. I love being on my skates, and I love playing derby. If I could do that for a living, my life would be complete. I am so jealous of the ladies that own there own derby related businesses. I could bore you with the play by play of my experience, but I think I’ll just give you the Cliff Notes version.

-Skating in 6 challenge bouts (Inked vs Holey, Irish vs Italian, Bacon vs Fakin, Nor Cal vs So Cal, Goth vs Rainbow and Vagine Regime vs Strictly Dickly)

-Taking classes from my derby idols (Annie Maul, Sadistic Sadie, Miss Fortune, Medusa, Atomatrix)

-Taking classes with my derby idols (Bonnie D Stroir, Ivanna S Pankin, Medusa)

-Skating with the RADDEST SONOMA chicks ever (D, PePe, Teach, Lady Sparks, Roxy)

-Hitting The Teacher during the Irish vs Italian Bout

-Hitting Bonnie D Stroir during a challenge bout and having her tell me I knocked the wind out of her

-Skating with Daddy’s Girls on most my challenge bouts and skating against her on one

-Skating with Demanda Riot on Nor Cal and skating against her on one

-Skating against Ivanna S Pankin, Trish the Dish, Jackie Daniels, Smarty Pants, Krissy Krash, Swede Hurt, Miss Fortune, Demanda Riot, Daddy’s Girl, Bonnie D Stroir, Blood Clottia and every other amazing skater I look up to

-Skating on Fremont Street with Strictly Dickly (Razorslut, Iron Maiven, Cherryliscious, VaVaVaGina, Miss Evil, Deranged, Psycho Babble, Carmen Getsome, Sheeza Brickhouse, Tara Armov, Aunt Flo, Isabelle Ringer, Dirty Deborah Harry, B Train, Retro Bruizin’)

-Hanging out with Bebe and Killer Vee and John

-Having Bonnie D Stroir tell me that I am an amazing skater (possibly the highlight of my year)

-Knocking Injure Rogers out of bounds during the VR vs SD bout and pulling a major on her

-Watching Boston completeley control the WFTDA bout against BAD

-Meeting and hanging out with derby girls from all over the WORLD

-Realizing that there is SO MUCH derby talent out there and I have SO MUCH to learn about
derby and also realizing that derby is every evolving and I will never know everything

Like I said this is the Cliff Notes version of Rollercon, every moment was amazing. Now, if I could only win the lottery and buy a wharehouse in Santa Cruz big enough to house a flat track and a banked track…

Oh and on a sidenote:

After watching Team Awesome play for the second year in a row, and taking a class from some of the players on Team Awesome, my derby dream (dare I say goal) is to play on Team Awesome just once, if it happened more than once AWESOME. To simplify, I want to increase my derby skill level to be good enough to play on Team Awesome (www.awesomederby.com)!

Monday, July 13, 2009

This is me



Things people should know about me, but probably don’t:



I am the most insecure person you’ve ever met


I can’t take a compliment


Even when I know I did well at something, I will never say it out loud


I only focus on the bad things I did during a bout


I ask Matty 100 times the night of a bout if I played okay, at least


I yell at you because I care


I push you because I believe in you and know you can do better, even if you don’t believe it


Contrary to popular belief, winning is not the only thing I care about, I care about my team and


their feelings


I will tell you exactly how I feel, and I won’t apologize for my opinion, but I will apologize for misunderstandings or the delivery


I take action first and think later, on and off the track


I live, eat, breath, sleep derby, it’s the only thing in life I’ve ever been this passionate about and committed to


I get frustrated if I think other people aren’t as committed and competitive as I am, but then I have to realize that not everyone is like me, and that’s a good thing


I am finally realizing that perception means a lot, regardless of how I think I’m coming across or what my intention is


I want us to have 100 people in our league, fighting for 20 spots, it enhances my competiveness and pushes me to try harder and do better


I take all my shit out on the people that I love the most, which is the most hurtful thing I can do, ask my wives, I’m probably the biggest bitch of all to them


I get so nervous before a bout, it’s almost paralyzing to skate out onto the track, and every time, I ask Weezy if I can go home, she just looks at me a laughs


I don’t have friends anymore, I just have derby sisters


I love everyone on my team and in my league, they all have unique characteristics that I appreciate


I have to be the best at everything I do and I have to learn everything I can about it


People think I’m intimidating and unapproachable, which I think is funny, considering I am socially inept


I am not a bitch, but I am opinionated


I try to say what I mean, but not be mean when I say it


I would do anything for anyone

Rollercon 2009

I’m leaving on a jet plane; don’t know when I’ll be back again. Can’t wait, only 15 more days until I plop my happy butt down in that window seat and get the heck out of Santa Cruz for a week. Heading out to Vegas for Rollercon 2009. This will be my second year, and, like I said, I can’t wait. Last year, I didn’t want to come back home. Rollercon is a week of being submerged in derby. Class after class, workshop after workshop, challenge bout after challenge bout. I live and breathe derby, and Rollercon is my heaven.

Last year I took it easy, tested the water. This year I am jumping right into the deep end of the pool. I am more confident in my derby skill level, and I am pushing myself harder this year, and taking more challenging classes. All my classes are advanced classes, and I am confident I can hang with those girls. A few jamming classes and a few blocking classes, taught by the most talented women (and one man) in derby. Plus I have probably signed up for every challenge bout that was put out there on the forum. I just want to play derby, all day.

The real reason I love Rollercon, watching the level of skating that is going to be going on. And the fact that I get to play with and against these derby hero’s of mine. These girls that I read about on DNN, watch on rollersport.tv and browse through thousands of pictures of on Flickr. These are the women that I get my inspiration from before a bout. These are the woman that I look up to, and want to be like. I study their form, their fast feet, their agility, their strategy, I soak it all in. It’s like I’ve been window shopping the most amazing pair of shoes, and now I get to buy them.

Matty and I fly in Tuesday morning, and leave Sunday afternoon. I would say poor Matty, but really all he has to do is lay in front of the pool and drink for five days. Oh, and come watch me skate a few times. And as if my schedule wasn’t full enough while I’m there, we’ve managed to cram in a Motley Crue show at the Hard Rock on Sat night. There are a few things that I want to do, like ride the rollercoaster through New York New York, or head to the top of the Stastosphere, but if it doesn’t happen, I’m okay with that. Really, I just want to skate.

Talking Derby to DNN: Joy Collision, Charm City Captain


Talking Derby to DNN: Joy Collision, Charm City Captain
by Mercy Less - July 13, 2009 - 2:07am
In the days after the Texas Rollergirls' top-ten marathon weekend, DNN's Mercy Less interviewed representatives of each participating team for their reflections on the bouts. In the third of four interviews, Mercy talks with Charm City captain Joy Collision.
DNN: How did you prepare your team for the bout against the Texecutioners?
Joy: I guess it's just constant preparation. We're playing so many games, hard to distinguish between preparing for just that game and any other game. We did look for some footage of Texas to see if we could, maybe, watch them and see how they played. But, we couldn't find any with their current roster, because they have a lot of newer transfer skaters this season. New people skating that haven't played so many games this year. We had to just try and work our strategy and get all of the players skills up to the level that we wanted, and work on our team play.
We did set up some scrimmages with the Harm City Homicide boys. We did know that Texas was basically a larger team than we are, so we thought that maybe getting hit by the boys and knocked around by them a little might help us prepare for getting knocked around by the Texas girls. They were, of course, really, really grateful because we haven't done so much stuff with them before. It's actually really fun, and hopefully we'll do that in the future. I think it helps both of us.
DNN: What was your feeling about your team's performance going into this game? What were your expectations?
Joy: I definitely feel like our team has been growing and getting so much better since the beginning of the season. It doesn't even look like the same team as when we first started playing in February. We have so many new girls that have really come into their own. I, of course, wanted to see us do well. I didn't, at the time, feel like we were assured a win against Texas in any way. But I didn't think it was out of our reach by any means. I feel like Texas is a wonderful team, and would've taken a loss as a victory. I still feel like it's a victory on our part, even though we didn't win that game. I feel like we played really, really well in that game, and I was satisfied. I was totally satisfied with our skaters, before and then after.
DNN: What was the most challenging part of that game for your team?
Joy: There's a couple of challenging things that happened during the game. One of which, is of course that some of our jammers that are normally in the jammer lineup weren't jamming. We definitely relied heavily upon people that we haven't had jam as much. They really pulled through, especially in the second period, for us. Bambi's Revenge, she's a newer jammer and she really came through for us in our second period. That was definitely a challenge that presented itself.
Right before the game we kind of knew we were going to have some issues with that. I hurt my knee, so I wasn't really going to be able to jam very much at all. We always had to make some adjustments during the game. They work really well together, and they are a very experienced team. Just the size of the girls and their knowledge of the game was the biggest challenge to us, I think.
The fact that it was at 11:00 am was challenging. We usually play our games at night, and we do practice in the morning, but after a long flight, it was definitely like, "Wow. I wouldn't mind sleeping in an extra hour." I'm sure they wouldn't have minded either. They had played Gotham Girls the night before. You have to do what you have to do.
FOR THE REST OF THIS INTERVIEW PLEASE CLICK ON THE LINK BELOW.

Friday, July 10, 2009

Engaged...

So Matty proposed to me on Wednesday night, I cried, a lot. I'm so happy. It feels so surreal. The ring is beautiful, vintage, from the 30's or 40's.

Anyways, I guess its not official til you right a blog about it.

Ha ha!

This is fitting...

Aries
July 10th, 2009

The stars award you a free pass of sorts today. It's basically a license to act any darned way you want to for 48 hours. The funny thing is, if anyone is comfortable in their own skin to start with, it's you. This should be good. Call your friends and tell them you'll be unofficially on stage for the next couple of days. You wouldn't want them to miss this, would you?

Desi Cration Interview with DNN

Talking Derby to DNN: Desi Cration, Texecutioners Co-Captain
by Mercy Less - July 8, 2009 - 1:39pm

In the days after the Texas Rollergirls' top-ten marathon weekend, DNN's Mercy Less interviewed representatives of each participating team for their reflections on the bouts. In the first of four interviews, Mercy talks with Texecutioners co-captain Desi Cration.

DNN: How did you prepare your team for the bout against Gotham?

Desi: A whole bunch of hard work. We’ve added in some extra workouts. A lot of it was just coming together as a team and really stepping up as far as knowing that there is just a whole bunch of competition out there. In order to stay with the best, you’ve gotta train like crazy.

DNN: What was your feeling about your team’s performance going into this gigantic weekend? Did you have expectations?

Desi: We had expectations to do our best. I don’t know that there was really a clear, defined answer to that. Of course we want to win, but what we wanted coming into this weekend was to have the experience, and to play against three fantastic teams, and really getting some good competition to play against. I think we really did everything we intended to do, just by coming out there, playing under the new ruleset, playing against teams that we haven’t played against. Doing all those things really was our biggest accomplishment.

DNN: What would you say was the most challenging thing about each game for your team?

Desi: (laughs) Sleep deprivation by the end of the weekend! Both nights when we got there, we didn’t get in until after 2:00 am. Other than that – that was a major thing – but it did represent what happens in tournaments, not getting enough sleep.
Gotham being the first one, we were most looking forward to, and had really high expectations of that game, and knew that it was going to be fast-paced and against the best in the country. They proved themselves at Nationals, their team is so deep, and they work like such a well-oiled machine. That was kind of a difficult part, in that you can’t take out one player, you have to take out an entire team when you try to work with Gotham. So understanding their team play was probably the most difficult thing about Gotham.
Archived DNN Boutcast - video and text
DNN Recap Article
Playing against Charm City, playing in an environment where it wasn’t an actual public bout, so there was no production, was quite difficult. Not to mention we were going up against the likes of Flo Shizzle and Dolly Rocket, Joy Collision – I mean, we really had our hands full with quite a few of their skaters. The fact that it was in a non-prodcution environment.
Archived DNN Boutcast - text
DNN Recap Article

TO READ THE REST OF THIS INTERVIEW, VISIT DERBY NEWS NETWORK OR CLICK ON THE LINK BELOW

http://www.derbynewsnetwork.com/2009/07/08/talking_derby_dnn_desi_cration_texecutioners_cocaptain

Bonnie Thunders Interview with DNN

Talking Derby to DNN: Bonnie Thunders, Gotham Girls Captain
by Hurt Reynolds - July 10, 2009 - 6:09am

In the days after the Texas Rollergirls' top-ten marathon weekend, DNN's Mercy Less interviewed representatives of each participating team for their reflections on the bouts. In the second of four interviews, Mercy talks with Gotham Girls captain Bonnie Thunders.

DNN: How did you prepare your team for the bout against the Texecutioners?

Bonnie: We’ve been prepping for this bout quite a bit because we were playing progressively harder teams this season for interleague. So we started with Boston, went on to Charm City, followed by Carolina, so I feel like that was good preparation, in that we were challenging ourselves a little more each time, and learning a lot about our playing style by playing our opponents, really seeing where our own weaknesses were.
Additionally, of course, I think endurance is a huge one, and I do believe that's one of the ways in which we won the game. We do have a really high level of endurance with the entire team at Gotham. That helps, not just with physical endurance, but mental endurance - to be thinking clearly even though you've been playing for 60 minutes, and also having....it was really, really warm in there, all those factors on top of it.
Just in general, we came up with a plan - after every bout, working on improving what didn't work in that bout, and I think that we just built that momentum forward from the beginning of this season, culminating in this bout. Now we're able to regroup aain, and wrap up and prepare for Regionals.

DNN: What was your feeling about your team's performance going into this game? Did you have expectations?

Bonnie: I definitely had expectations. I really had high expectations, especially for our rookies, because they've been so strong lately. I was really glad to see that they all had pretyy good games. There were a couple of very, very new rookies - two girls that have only played one home season in the past. I was really excited for them to play such high level derby, so early in their careers. I felt that we did a really good job of filling in the holes of skaters that we lost last year.
I also had expectations for older girls' skills as well, not only living up to their reputations from last year, but also improving. I think that's the hardest part of being a veteran - how do you get better when everyone else is getting better, too. You have to be constantly improving your own skating even though everyone else is coming up under you, eating at your tail, so to speak.
So those were my expectations, for our rookies to get some good experience, and and really feel what it feels like to play a really high level derby game. Also for our veterans to push themselves that much more to show themwhere they've come since last season.

DNN: What was the most challenging thing about this game for your team?

Bonnie: I think that Texas had a really good offense, not that we didn't expect it, but it was a very strong offense. They really supported their jammers in the pack and I think that was somewhat of a challenge for us, because I don't think we had faced that before this season. That was something we really learned a lot about. How we need to overcome strong offense from another team, and really trying to stop their jammer.
I think the other thing about Texas is that their jammers actually improved really well. Obviously everyone expected Rice Rocket to be jamming a whole lot, and she didn't. It was really amazing to see the improvement their jammers had since last year. Especially Olivia Shootin' John, she's really come a long way. Nationals [2008], she didn't skate very many jams in their game. She had skated a lot fewer jams than she did in this game.
Lucille Brawl - she had never really been a jammer, but she really was a jammer. There were some girls on Texas who we totally didn't expect to be that strong as jammers - they really stepped up a lot from last year.


TO READ THE REST OF THIS INTERVIEW PLEASE VISIT DERBY NEWS NETWORK OR CLICK ON THE LINK BELOW

http://www.derbynewsnetwork.com/2009/07/13/talking_derby_dnn_joy_collision_charm_city_captain

Thursday, July 2, 2009

SCDG vs Bakersfield


Really? Another bout already? Didn't we just have one?
I am really excited about this game.
I am still riding the high of last weeks bout. I am so proud of my team. We played the best game of our lives. Everyone I've talked to said that was the best game they'd ever seen us play! I can't wait to play again with all my girls.
SCDG rocks, and we are so ready to kick ass!
Thanks Santa Cruz for being so supportive.
Don't forget to buy your tickets at santacruztickets.com.
See ya at the bout!

Monday, June 22, 2009

Amazingness!




Ok, so here we are coming of a loss and getting ready to bout again this weekend. I hate losing, no I REALLY hate losing. It sucks. And I am a sore loser. I spent most of last week screaming at people at practice. New plan, be nice to people! It’s hard, I’m frustrated, everyone is frustrated. Trying to maintain stress free this week, started off rocky last night with my 3 hours of sleep. I don’t want to live off energy drinks this week, I really don’t. I also don’t want to rely on sleeping pills to “naturally” fall asleep. I wish that my head would shut up at night. Why do I have to worry and stress out and be nervous?
The Wives and I decided we’re going to take a different approach to things. Everytime we do anything slightly good, we are going to make it AMAZING. We are going to make a big deal out of it. Why not? Let’s take a positive outlook on things. Maybe it’ll work, maybe it won’t. Don’t be surprised if you hear me shout out at practice “Oh my god, did you see that AMAZING turn stop I did?” Yes, I’ve earned the douchebag award.
Have a bout this weekend against Jet City Rollergirls. Home bout, gotta win, can’t lose at home. Can’t lost again period. See there I go again, putting the pressure on myself. If I don’t push myself though, who will? If I don’t push the girls on the team, will they push themselves? Do they want to win? Do they want to get better? These are the questions that keep me up at night. These are the questions that I want to ask my team, but I don’t like confrontation, so I’ll be passive aggressive about it and hope they read my blog.
One of the wives was complaining that my blog sucked because I didn’t write about the Wives enough. I promised her I’d write a something about the wives. I’m warning you know that no one will find it awesome except us because we are not cool. In fact, we are very uncool!
If you get a chance this weekend, you should check out our bout, its gonna be pretty awesome. We’re getting a key to the city, the mayor is gonna be there and maybe some other special surprises. Really, you don’t want to miss out.

Friday, June 12, 2009

Avoiding Burnout

Oh man, I am such a bad blogger, and now that my blog is on the SCDG website santacruzderbygirls.org, I really am pressured to keep up with this thing. The truth is that I am really busy. I know, I know, what derby girls isn’t and how many times have I posted that in my blog. Unfortunately, it’s only June and I am already throwing around the B word, BURNOUT. So to all my fellow derby sisters, here is an interesting article posted on some yahoo forum that I picked up. There are a few girls on my league that I considered emailing this directly to them, but I figured everyone could use the information, including myself.

"Avoiding Burnout"
If constant stress has you feeling disillusioned, helpless, and completely worn out, you may be suffering from burnout. When you're burned out, problems seem insurmountable, everything looks bleak, and it's difficult to muster up the energy to care—let alone do something about your situation.
The unhappiness and detachment burnout causes can threaten your job, your relationships, and your health. But burnout can be healed. If you recognize the signs and symptoms of burnout in its early stages, simple stress management strategies may be enough to solve the problem. In the later stages of burnout, recovery may take more time and effort, but you can still regain your balance by reassessing your priorities, making time for yourself, and seeking support.

What is Burnout?
Burnout occurs where people who have previously been highly committed to a sport lose interest and motivation.
Typically it will occur in hard working, hard training, hard driven people, who become emotionally, psychologically or physically exhausted. This can occur where:
you find it difficult to say 'no' to additional commitments or responsibilities
someone has been under intense and sustained pressure for some time
a perfectionist coach does not delegate
someone is trying to achieve too much
someone has been giving too much emotional support for too long
Often it will express itself in a reduction in motivation, volume and quality of performance, or in dissatisfaction with or departure from the sport altogether.
Symptoms of Burnout
Burnout will normally occur slowly, over a long period of time. It may express itself physically or mentally. Symptoms of burnout are shown below:
Physical Burnout
Feelings of intense fatigue
Vulnerability to viral infection
Immune breakdown
Mental Burnout
Feeling of lack of control over commitments
An incorrect belief that you are accomplishing less
A growing tendency to think negatively
Loss of a sense of purpose and energy
Increasing detachment from relationships that causes conflict and stress, adding to burn-out
Avoiding Burnout
If you are training and performing hard, then you should take great care not to burnout.
You can avoid physical burnout by keeping the sport fun: intense, difficult training sessions that significantly improve technique should be mixed with lighter, enjoyable sessions that use new skills to good advantage. A relatively slow build-up from off-seasons can be adopted so that your body is not put under excessive stress. You should respect feelings of intense physical fatigue and rest appropriately.
Similarly, you can avoid mental burnout by ensuring that the sport remains fun: there is a limit to your mental energy that you should respect. As you get better at a sport, people will want more and more of your time, and will rely on you more and more. It is easy for commitments to get bigger and bigger: people tend to be quite happy to consume other peoples mental resources without worrying about the consequences. You must learn to say 'No' to commitments that you do not want to take on - otherwise you will be in severe danger of burning out as you become unhappy with your situation. Involvement in sport must be fun, otherwise there is no point in doing it.
If you are in Danger of Burning Out...
If you feel that you are in danger of burning out, or are not enjoying your sport, the following points can help you correct the situation:
Re-evaluate your goals and prioritize them
Evaluate the demands placed on you and see how they fit in with your goals
Identify your ability to comfortably meet these demands.
If you are over-involved, reduce the commitments that are excessive
If people demand too much emotional energy, become more unapproachable and less sympathetic. Involve other people in a supportive role. You owe it to yourself to avoid being bled dry emotionally.
Learn stress management skills
Examine other areas in your life which are generating stress, such as work or family, and try to solve problems and reduce the stress
Get the support of your friends and family in reducing stress
Ensure that you are following a healthy lifestyle:
Get adequate sleep and rest to maintain your energy levels
Ensure that you are eating a healthy, balanced diet - a bad diet can make you ill or feel bad.
Get adequate regular aerobic exercise
Limit your caffeine and alcohol intake
Perhaps develop alternative activities such as a relaxing hobby to take your mind off problems
Acknowledge your own humanity: remember that you have a right to pleasure and a right to relaxation
Late Stages of Burn-Out
If you are in late stages of burn-out, feeling deeply demotivated and disenchanted with your sport, get help from a good psychologist.
If You Have Burned Out...
Do not worry. If you are so demotivated in your sport that for a time you do not want to continue it, then drop it for a while. If you come back later, you may find that you start to enjoy it again, and can take on only those commitments you want to.
You may, however, find that you have absolutely no interest in continuing with the sport. In this case it is best to drop it altogether. If you are the sort of person who has burned out, i.e. highly motivated and hard driving, then a complete change of direction may be appropriate - it is very likely that you will find another area in which you will excel. You will find that you are only demotivated and listless in the area in which you burned out.
The difference is that you will have already burned out once: next time you now know the signs to look for and the things to watch. You will be able to pace yourself, and control your energy much more effectively, ensuring that you operate at stress levels where you can give your optimum performance.

The difference between stress and burnout
Burnout may be the result of unrelenting stress, but it isn't the same as too much stress. Stress, by and large, involves too much: too many pressures that demand too much of you physically and psychologically. Stressed people can still imagine, though, that if they can just get everything under control, they'll feel better.
Burnout, on the other hand, is about not enough. Being burned out means feeling empty, devoid of motivation, and beyond caring. People experiencing burnout often don't see any hope of positive change in their situations. If excessive stress is like drowning in responsibilities, burnout is being all dried up. One other difference between stress and burnout: While you're usually aware of being under a lot of stress, you don't always notice burnout when it happens.

Closing Tips on dealing with Burnout: The "Three R" Approach
Recognize – Watch for the warning signs of burnout
Reverse – Undo the damage by managing stress and seeking support
Resilience – Build your resilience to stress by taking care of your physical and emotional health

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Thursday, May 7, 2009

Shut Up and Skate...

I've decided that I am on the Derby Drama Diet (totally stole this from someone else)!

I am going to shut my mouth, keep my opinions to myself, and only involve myself in the Board of Directors decisions. Basically, SHUT UP AND SKATE.

I am going to be selfless, and let other people fight there own battles. If people like me, they like me, if they don't, well...I can't control that, and I just don't care anymore.

I think that people react on hearsay a little too much and if you want the truth, you have to go to the source. That is my opinion. Sometimes people do things that don't make sense, but are in the best interest of the league. We all have to be a little selfless and buck up right now, we are going through changes and we all have to shut up sometimes.

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

WFTDA 4.0

Hmmm...so WFTDA 4.0 was released! There are some major changes!
No more jammerless jams, not sure I like the new fix for this. It seems more confusing.
I do like the cutting the track changes. It seems more defined, and less strict, which is nice.

If you want to read the new rules, check them out here http://rules.wftda.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/04/wftda_official_rules_version_4_0.pdf

And for a really awesome breakdown, check out DNN's post here http://www.derbynewsnetwork.com/2009/04/29/wftda_releases_ruleset_version_40

I am already thinking of new strategies to implement to combat the new jammer rules.

I love when new rules come out, they make me think about the game. How can I play smarter, not harder?

Thursday, April 16, 2009

I needed a laugh this morning...


This is something my sister and I would have done as kids. We tried saving every animal that crossed our path. My family can't say no to an animal in need. And because of that, we've had a weird set of pets trail through our household. And because of that, I've had to say goodbye to a lot of awesome pets. My mom and I were comiserating the other day about Ginger, the raddest Weimeraner and Chocolate Lab mix. She was the ultimate beach dog and home protector. At her biggest she was 100 lbs of pure muscle. I loved that crazy dog, and only because I can't talk about her without crying, I'll spare you the details of her last days.

I guess this got me thinking. Just like I've had a spattering of weird pets, I've had a spattering of weird people in my life. Especially with derby. People I normally wouldn't be friends with. But just like I learn to love and care for my crazy pets, I learn to love and care for my crazy friends.

Friday, April 10, 2009

363 days to go...

The older I get, the less stoked I am on my birthday. It's not the "getting older" aspect, even though I bought Revitalift Anti Aging cream last night, but there is something depressing about the day.

Matty and my dad sent me flowers, that was sweet, my office smells nice!

Went to dinner on the wharf, Riva's, it was romantical. Matty and I ate way too much food, it hurt. Walked to the end of the wharf, made fun of the sea lions, bought candy at Marini's!

The best part of the night, PHOTO BOOTH pictures at the Boardwalk. Even though I don't photograph well and I criticized every picture of me!

It was totally mellow, which is how I like it. I don't like when people make a big deal out of my birthday, anything that draws attention to me I can live without.

Roxy made me the BEST cupcakes ever and brought them to practice last night, she even put chocolate dipped strawberries on them. She's so awesome and talented!

I guess I am just tired of being in my 20's! I wanna be in my thirties already. I still feel like a kid, even though for the most part my life is pretty grown-up. Do you think that at 12:01 am on my 30th birthday I'll fell any different?

363 more days to go, and I will be counting them down.

Thursday, April 9, 2009

Egotism ain't my thing...

e·go·tist
n.
1. A conceited, boastful person.
2. A selfish, self-centered person.

ego·tistic, ego·tisti·cal adj.
ego·tisti·cal·ly adv.

I know, this isn't really derby related, well maybe it is...

Egotistical people really get my goat.

It's one thing to acknowledge when you accomplished something or to be proud of something, BUT it's a whole different story when you're constantly patting yourself on the back.

Me for example, I know when I make a mistake on the track, and I know when I do something that kicks ass. I try not to harp on the mistakes, I'll learn. I also don't wander aound telling people how great I played and how I did X,W and Z. I know what I did right and wrong, and I sure don't need to let other people know. If people want to compliment me, I will graciously take it, but blush and be uncomfortable the enitre time. I'm just not one for tooting my own horn I guess, and I think that makes me so irritated when other people do. What, are they expecting a cookie or something.

There's a difference between being insecure and being humble.

Monday, April 6, 2009

The day after...

The bout is over! Yay, I never want to play against my friends again. That was hard.

What a game! I thought that I was going to get ejected from the game for my penalties. I racked up 1 major and 8 minors in the first half, yikes. I play hard sometimes. Thankfully I managed to stay our of the box the second half, and don't think I had any penalties.

Recap: 11 girls CAN make a team and kick ass! I'm super sore and tired. Everyone played amazing. We sold out, and unveiled our new NON PROFIT DERBY NAME, SANTA CRUZ DERBY GIRLS, new logo out soon! Mojo's first bout back since her broken wrist, she played AMAZING.

Matty made us a sign!


Raven's dead Bettie doll she flung around and dragged on the ground. I think she was trying to make a statement. I asked for the doll as a souvenier, but I don't think I'm going to get it. Before the bout started, I spotted the doll in the Lost Girls dressing room, mid sentence with Eden, I sprung around, grabbed the doll and started running. Halfway across the civic floor, I hear Raven's voice "Give me back my doll you dirty whore!" I ran to the Betties dressing room, and started flinging the doll around, and jumping up and down "look what I stole!" I was really proud of myself. Raven came in behind me, grabbed the doll out of my hands and stomped off. Ooops! So, that's why I think I ain't getting that doll! I thought it was funny, and a compliment, she went to a lot of trouble to make that!

Fighting off Sheila
Sheila AGAIN!
Halftime score: Beach Flat Betties 71 vs The Lost Girls 41
I think I went to the box for this hit!
Final Score: Beach Flat Betties 130 vs The Lost Girls 101

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Santa Cruz vs Santa Cruz

The Lost Girls vs The Beach Flat Betties

Its bout week. I could feel it at practice last night. Everyone showed up. The refs, nso's, all buzzing around. I'm nervous and scared again. But it's a different kind of scared and nervous. I know my opponents, I know how they play. I know their strengths and their weaknesses. This is my first home bout ever. I was injured last year for the Dollies vs Betties bout! All three of my wives are the opposite team. When I'm jamming, I'm going to look at the pack and see Eden's evil smile, Brawleys dertermined face, and Candies booty! I am going to want to grab them to help me through the pack, instead I'm going to have to dodge out of their hard hits. AND don't even get me started on Hell Louise, her butt's gonna come flying at me and I will be paralyzed by FEAR!

The Betties might be the undedog in this game. The Lost girls have a pretty good lineup, All Star Jammers and All Star Blockers, we are going to have to step it up.

The Lost Girls

Eden Yourheartout - Captain

Raven Von Kaos - Captain

Candie Hooligan - Co Captain

Brawley Parton

Cleopatra Catastrophe

Hallie Pena Popper

Hell Louise ( Countess Weezy)

Liv N Letdie

Pigeon

Pixi Painful

Salt Ann Battery

Sheila Princess of Power

The Beach Flat Betties

Lulu Lockjaw - Captain

Roxy Scarmicheal - Co Captain

Allda Rage

Blonde Claude Van Damme

Cinzilla - Injured

Foxee Firestorm

Kicken Red Vixen

Kiki Clash

Mojo Vixen

Pippi Hardsocking

Rowdy Roughrider

Shamrock N Roller



Tolerance

"People that are annoying, difficult, selfish, boring, or otherwise a chore to deal with, are that way for reasons that have nothing to do with you. It's not your job to fix, engage with, or indulge those tendencies. Don't worry about figuring them out or correcting them, worry instead about how you're going to manage their annoyances without letting it hinder your ability to achieve your own goals"

This totally applies to derby!

Imagine 40+ women trying to run a business!

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Heartless Wheels


Anybody out there in the derby world now ANYTHING about the new Heartless wheels?

I've looked and I can't find anything.

If you know anything about these wheels, please post and let me know.

Life outside derby?


I can totally relate. Obviously, what derby girl can't?
I read a lot of blogs by derby girls, and the one constant is the time committment to this sport.
Last night was the first night in almost a week that my night was not consumed by derby, although I was on the phone for quite some time.
I have no life outside of derby!
You know what my big plans for Friday night are? Open skate!

Hores

I know its not derby related, but who can't use a good laugh every now and then. I know I can.





Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Dream In Derby

I had a dream that I made out with someone in a supply closet last night. I can't say who the person was, but they are kind of a big deal to me.

I usually don't remember my dreams, but lately, I've been having weird derby dreams. At first I thought they were attributed to our bout, but that's come and gone and the dreams are still here.

Its probably due to stress, the new season, or *insert anything derby related here*!

I am disappointed, I haven't traveled around as much as I would like for bouts. I missed the Oakland Outlaws vs Port City bout, and I'm not sure I will make the CCRD vs Sacred bout this weekend, though I'd really love to be there! Also some great banked track action happening in LA this weekend, LADD Fight Crew vs SDDD The Swarm, which I so wish I was at.

Maybe when the dust settles and I get back into the groove of things I'll be able to travel around more.

I love derby, watching, playing, teaching.

Hello, my name is Lulu and I am a derbyholic!

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Dan Green and Me


Ok, so I wanted to have a whole post just for Dan Green.

It stared last season before our first bout. KSBW came to one of our practices, taped a few things, one of the things they taped was me, being my ridiculous self. Oh yeah, that was also the night that some of us, Charlie, Roxy, me, wore our I love Dan Green shirts with his picture on them. Anyways, we were on the news. And that was it! We never really got any news coverage after that. This year I want to give mad props to our PR committee, they are working double time for us. Not only did we get an article in the Metro, we were mentioned in the Good Times and we got SPORTS coverage in the Santa Cruz Sentinel, awesome right? Ok, but here is the best part...they got DAN GREEN to blow the first whistle at our bout.

Now, let me tell you about Dan Green. He's been a newscaster for KSBW (NBC) for awhile; I'm not good with timelines, so I won't even guess. He's married to another newscaster and he's got some kids, yadda yadda yadda. Best part, Dan Green is hilarious. I watch the 11 o'clock news just because of him. He has this dry, sarcastic sense of humor. Like me! Oh, and he's my friend on Facebook!

I was going to meet Dan Green. And meet him I did. I was out saying hi to my parents at the bout, killing time and I was told to get back to the dressing room. I skated in, and there he was, Dan Green. I started mumbling, "it's Dan Green, its Dan Green" like a mental patient. Guess what he did? He walked right over to me, said "its Lulu Lockjaw, one of my favorites" (he effing recognized me?!?!?) and dipped me! I think I passed out for a second!

I realized later that he signed the helmet panties, and I am convinced that he was my good luck charm for the game. So Dan Green is pretty much going to have to come to all of our games from now on.




It feels like forever ago

Um…Holy Crap…We won! We effing won the bout against the LADD Sirens 128-122. I am still in shock. I mean LA is a big deal. I know I keep saying that, but they are a big deal.












I was petrified for two weeks before this bout, especially after finding out that I would be jamming. The day of the bout was the worst bit of anxiety that I’ve ever had before a bout. I actually slept well the night before, but I had extremely weird derby dreams, where SCRG was bouting SVRG, but it was all underwater. That had me freaked out, I was reading into my dreams, thinking I was going to lose it.
Even at breakfast I couldn’t keep my cool, I had a mild freak out, sorry Eden! I did get really awesome hugs from everyone though! All day I tried to keep my mind occupied, running errands, hanging out with my boyfriend, laughing with the wives, anything to keep the fear from setting in. There is this monkey that hangs out in my head; usually the monkey is dormant, but on days when I am doing something critical, he starts telling me that I suck. It’s quite frustrating, especially when I start to believe him.When I got to the Civic, my nerves were out of control. I couldn’t sit still, I wandered around, put my war face on (totally kidding), got more hugs, had the lesbots work on me. Finally it was time for warming up; I put on all my gear and got out on the track. We did a nice team warmup, I practiced some starts and jamming through the pack, the floor was slippery, scary! My mouth was dry as a bone, I couldn’t catch my breath! I kept thinking, “Why do I do this? Isn’t this supposed to be fun?” Even when we were lined up to get announced, I turned to Weezy and told her I wanted to go home. Of course she looked at me like I was crazy! As we got announced, I couldn’t even look at the crowd.


We huddled up, we stomped our feet, we chanted, I got chills, I was READY!

Some times I need to be so nervous to push me to do my best. My boyfriend told me to be nervous, but to harness it, and use it during the game. And I used it. I jammed a lot this game, that when I did go into the pack, I was more scared to block than to jam! Wow, I actually like jamming! There are definitely plays, strategies, ideas that I need to work on and our team needs to work on, but I am so proud of us. We came together as a team, used everything we’ve learned over the last 2 months and communicated. The best compliment of the night was when PITA leaned over to me in the pack and told me that they had completely underestimated us and that at half time they had to scramble to counter our plays, which they did nicely. She told me that she would be surprised if we weren’t WFTDA by the end of the year!!!!

Overall, best bout I’ve ever played. I was confident, but not cocky. I was physically and mentally prepared. I made mistakes and I learned from them. I played hard and I played smart. I played as a team; I did not play my own game out there. Most importantly, I HAD FUN. Because as nervous and anxious as I get before a bout, as soon as that whistle blows, I’m playing derby, and that makes me happy!





















Friday, March 13, 2009

Bouncing

I can’t even stay seated. I am bouncing out of my chair at work. As exhausted as I am, I really feel like I could run a marathon right now. I am completely excited to play derby tomorrow. AND I am completely nervous. I am trying not to do anything, but visualize me kicking ass. Its pretty hard, I watch my self skate off the bench to the jammer line, I watch myself line up, I watch myself get into position, I hear the 1st whistle, than I hear the second whistles, than everything goes black and I feel like I am going to pass out! Yikes! I’ve decided to do things differently to get mentally prepared before the game. Last year I did a lot of sitting around the day of, and I think that made it worse. I am going to eat breakfast with the girls, than I think I am going to go for a nice walk on the beach to clear my head. I plan on hanging out with my boyfriend and taking my time to get ready. I don’t want to sit around and then feel rushed. I want to feel like I used my day wisely. I want to find my inner animal.

Monday, March 9, 2009

Scrimmaging is RAD!

We had a scrimmage on Friday night with the RAD chicks of Silicon Valley Rollergirls. It was a mixed scrimmage and it was awesome!
Thanks ladies! I had so much fun!


Santa Cruz Rollergirls Allstars VS LA Derby Dolls Sirens



Come see our first bout of our second season!!!

I am really nervous. I feel like I am physically ready, but not sure I am mentally prepared! The last month of practice, we've really been working on plays and strategy, which has made me more confident than ever in our team, but, I continue to second guess myself! Also, I am jamming this game, not sure how much, but just once makes me tense up with anxiety! At least with blocking, you don't have 4 girls gunning for you. Being a jammer is scary, girls want to KILL you! I was told that being nervous is a good thing, that I can use that energy to my advantage!

Anyways, nervousness, excitement, anxiety, no sleep, poor appetite, thats going to be me for the next 5 days!

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Time and Money


As I was dragging my tired body out of bed today, I was asking myself, why do I do this? I am mentally, emotionally and physically exhausted. I think I might have almost fallen asleep, driving, on my way to work this morning. In my head, it doesn’t seem like such a time commitment. A couple of nights here, a few mornings there, I don’t really notice. On paper, it’s a time commitment. Damn me for having an addictive personality and damn roller derby for being so addicting. I can never do anything at 50%; I always have to give it my all! I don’t want to be mediocre, I want to be the best, and I will put in however much time I need to do that. I’ve never experienced anything like roller derby before. I’ve played team sports my whole life, but nothing compared to this level of involvement. Not only do I practice three nights a week, but I have board meetings, league meetings, coaching meetings, captains meetings. Do other derby leagues have this many meetings? All of this, on top of a 45 hour work week for my “real” job. I can’t wait until we start practicing on Sunday mornings, only one more week, then I might feel like there is a break in my time. Oh and the time I spend researching on the internet, when I should be working is REDICULOUS. I spend more time on Yahoo groups and coaching forums, then I realize. And the money I shell out for this. Dues, new skates, wheels, tights, socks, booty shorts, hoodies, shirts and they all have to have my name and number on them, I mean god forbid somebody not know who I am. I had to have custom skates, with custom colors! I have to have the best wheels and I rarely care about the cost. In this sense, I am a snob, and I pay the price for it. With all that said, I wouldn’t trade my life for anything. I have the best teammates, my derby wives are amazing, my body feels great, I am a part of something that is bigger than me, bigger than Santa Cruz Rollergirls, I am part of a fast growing community of women just like me!

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