Lulu Lockjaw

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Heartless Wheels

Anybody out there in the derby world now ANYTHING about the new Heartless wheels?

I've looked and I can't find anything.

If you know anything about these wheels, please post and let me know.

Life outside derby?

I can totally relate. Obviously, what derby girl can't?
I read a lot of blogs by derby girls, and the one constant is the time committment to this sport.
Last night was the first night in almost a week that my night was not consumed by derby, although I was on the phone for quite some time.
I have no life outside of derby!
You know what my big plans for Friday night are? Open skate!


I know its not derby related, but who can't use a good laugh every now and then. I know I can.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Dream In Derby

I had a dream that I made out with someone in a supply closet last night. I can't say who the person was, but they are kind of a big deal to me.

I usually don't remember my dreams, but lately, I've been having weird derby dreams. At first I thought they were attributed to our bout, but that's come and gone and the dreams are still here.

Its probably due to stress, the new season, or *insert anything derby related here*!

I am disappointed, I haven't traveled around as much as I would like for bouts. I missed the Oakland Outlaws vs Port City bout, and I'm not sure I will make the CCRD vs Sacred bout this weekend, though I'd really love to be there! Also some great banked track action happening in LA this weekend, LADD Fight Crew vs SDDD The Swarm, which I so wish I was at.

Maybe when the dust settles and I get back into the groove of things I'll be able to travel around more.

I love derby, watching, playing, teaching.

Hello, my name is Lulu and I am a derbyholic!

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Dan Green and Me

Ok, so I wanted to have a whole post just for Dan Green.

It stared last season before our first bout. KSBW came to one of our practices, taped a few things, one of the things they taped was me, being my ridiculous self. Oh yeah, that was also the night that some of us, Charlie, Roxy, me, wore our I love Dan Green shirts with his picture on them. Anyways, we were on the news. And that was it! We never really got any news coverage after that. This year I want to give mad props to our PR committee, they are working double time for us. Not only did we get an article in the Metro, we were mentioned in the Good Times and we got SPORTS coverage in the Santa Cruz Sentinel, awesome right? Ok, but here is the best part...they got DAN GREEN to blow the first whistle at our bout.

Now, let me tell you about Dan Green. He's been a newscaster for KSBW (NBC) for awhile; I'm not good with timelines, so I won't even guess. He's married to another newscaster and he's got some kids, yadda yadda yadda. Best part, Dan Green is hilarious. I watch the 11 o'clock news just because of him. He has this dry, sarcastic sense of humor. Like me! Oh, and he's my friend on Facebook!

I was going to meet Dan Green. And meet him I did. I was out saying hi to my parents at the bout, killing time and I was told to get back to the dressing room. I skated in, and there he was, Dan Green. I started mumbling, "it's Dan Green, its Dan Green" like a mental patient. Guess what he did? He walked right over to me, said "its Lulu Lockjaw, one of my favorites" (he effing recognized me?!?!?) and dipped me! I think I passed out for a second!

I realized later that he signed the helmet panties, and I am convinced that he was my good luck charm for the game. So Dan Green is pretty much going to have to come to all of our games from now on.

It feels like forever ago

Um…Holy Crap…We won! We effing won the bout against the LADD Sirens 128-122. I am still in shock. I mean LA is a big deal. I know I keep saying that, but they are a big deal.

I was petrified for two weeks before this bout, especially after finding out that I would be jamming. The day of the bout was the worst bit of anxiety that I’ve ever had before a bout. I actually slept well the night before, but I had extremely weird derby dreams, where SCRG was bouting SVRG, but it was all underwater. That had me freaked out, I was reading into my dreams, thinking I was going to lose it.
Even at breakfast I couldn’t keep my cool, I had a mild freak out, sorry Eden! I did get really awesome hugs from everyone though! All day I tried to keep my mind occupied, running errands, hanging out with my boyfriend, laughing with the wives, anything to keep the fear from setting in. There is this monkey that hangs out in my head; usually the monkey is dormant, but on days when I am doing something critical, he starts telling me that I suck. It’s quite frustrating, especially when I start to believe him.When I got to the Civic, my nerves were out of control. I couldn’t sit still, I wandered around, put my war face on (totally kidding), got more hugs, had the lesbots work on me. Finally it was time for warming up; I put on all my gear and got out on the track. We did a nice team warmup, I practiced some starts and jamming through the pack, the floor was slippery, scary! My mouth was dry as a bone, I couldn’t catch my breath! I kept thinking, “Why do I do this? Isn’t this supposed to be fun?” Even when we were lined up to get announced, I turned to Weezy and told her I wanted to go home. Of course she looked at me like I was crazy! As we got announced, I couldn’t even look at the crowd.

We huddled up, we stomped our feet, we chanted, I got chills, I was READY!

Some times I need to be so nervous to push me to do my best. My boyfriend told me to be nervous, but to harness it, and use it during the game. And I used it. I jammed a lot this game, that when I did go into the pack, I was more scared to block than to jam! Wow, I actually like jamming! There are definitely plays, strategies, ideas that I need to work on and our team needs to work on, but I am so proud of us. We came together as a team, used everything we’ve learned over the last 2 months and communicated. The best compliment of the night was when PITA leaned over to me in the pack and told me that they had completely underestimated us and that at half time they had to scramble to counter our plays, which they did nicely. She told me that she would be surprised if we weren’t WFTDA by the end of the year!!!!

Overall, best bout I’ve ever played. I was confident, but not cocky. I was physically and mentally prepared. I made mistakes and I learned from them. I played hard and I played smart. I played as a team; I did not play my own game out there. Most importantly, I HAD FUN. Because as nervous and anxious as I get before a bout, as soon as that whistle blows, I’m playing derby, and that makes me happy!

Friday, March 13, 2009


I can’t even stay seated. I am bouncing out of my chair at work. As exhausted as I am, I really feel like I could run a marathon right now. I am completely excited to play derby tomorrow. AND I am completely nervous. I am trying not to do anything, but visualize me kicking ass. Its pretty hard, I watch my self skate off the bench to the jammer line, I watch myself line up, I watch myself get into position, I hear the 1st whistle, than I hear the second whistles, than everything goes black and I feel like I am going to pass out! Yikes! I’ve decided to do things differently to get mentally prepared before the game. Last year I did a lot of sitting around the day of, and I think that made it worse. I am going to eat breakfast with the girls, than I think I am going to go for a nice walk on the beach to clear my head. I plan on hanging out with my boyfriend and taking my time to get ready. I don’t want to sit around and then feel rushed. I want to feel like I used my day wisely. I want to find my inner animal.

Monday, March 9, 2009

Scrimmaging is RAD!

We had a scrimmage on Friday night with the RAD chicks of Silicon Valley Rollergirls. It was a mixed scrimmage and it was awesome!
Thanks ladies! I had so much fun!

Santa Cruz Rollergirls Allstars VS LA Derby Dolls Sirens

Come see our first bout of our second season!!!

I am really nervous. I feel like I am physically ready, but not sure I am mentally prepared! The last month of practice, we've really been working on plays and strategy, which has made me more confident than ever in our team, but, I continue to second guess myself! Also, I am jamming this game, not sure how much, but just once makes me tense up with anxiety! At least with blocking, you don't have 4 girls gunning for you. Being a jammer is scary, girls want to KILL you! I was told that being nervous is a good thing, that I can use that energy to my advantage!

Anyways, nervousness, excitement, anxiety, no sleep, poor appetite, thats going to be me for the next 5 days!

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Time and Money

As I was dragging my tired body out of bed today, I was asking myself, why do I do this? I am mentally, emotionally and physically exhausted. I think I might have almost fallen asleep, driving, on my way to work this morning. In my head, it doesn’t seem like such a time commitment. A couple of nights here, a few mornings there, I don’t really notice. On paper, it’s a time commitment. Damn me for having an addictive personality and damn roller derby for being so addicting. I can never do anything at 50%; I always have to give it my all! I don’t want to be mediocre, I want to be the best, and I will put in however much time I need to do that. I’ve never experienced anything like roller derby before. I’ve played team sports my whole life, but nothing compared to this level of involvement. Not only do I practice three nights a week, but I have board meetings, league meetings, coaching meetings, captains meetings. Do other derby leagues have this many meetings? All of this, on top of a 45 hour work week for my “real” job. I can’t wait until we start practicing on Sunday mornings, only one more week, then I might feel like there is a break in my time. Oh and the time I spend researching on the internet, when I should be working is REDICULOUS. I spend more time on Yahoo groups and coaching forums, then I realize. And the money I shell out for this. Dues, new skates, wheels, tights, socks, booty shorts, hoodies, shirts and they all have to have my name and number on them, I mean god forbid somebody not know who I am. I had to have custom skates, with custom colors! I have to have the best wheels and I rarely care about the cost. In this sense, I am a snob, and I pay the price for it. With all that said, I wouldn’t trade my life for anything. I have the best teammates, my derby wives are amazing, my body feels great, I am a part of something that is bigger than me, bigger than Santa Cruz Rollergirls, I am part of a fast growing community of women just like me!