Time and Money

As I was dragging my tired body out of bed today, I was asking myself, why do I do this? I am mentally, emotionally and physically exhausted. I think I might have almost fallen asleep, driving, on my way to work this morning. In my head, it doesn’t seem like such a time commitment. A couple of nights here, a few mornings there, I don’t really notice. On paper, it’s a time commitment. Damn me for having an addictive personality and damn roller derby for being so addicting. I can never do anything at 50%; I always have to give it my all! I don’t want to be mediocre, I want to be the best, and I will put in however much time I need to do that. I’ve never experienced anything like roller derby before. I’ve played team sports my whole life, but nothing compared to this level of involvement. Not only do I practice three nights a week, but I have board meetings, league meetings, coaching meetings, captains meetings. Do other derby leagues have this many meetings? All of this, on top of a 45 hour work week for my “real” job. I can’t wait until we start practicing on Sunday mornings, only one more week, then I might feel like there is a break in my time. Oh and the time I spend researching on the internet, when I should be working is REDICULOUS. I spend more time on Yahoo groups and coaching forums, then I realize. And the money I shell out for this. Dues, new skates, wheels, tights, socks, booty shorts, hoodies, shirts and they all have to have my name and number on them, I mean god forbid somebody not know who I am. I had to have custom skates, with custom colors! I have to have the best wheels and I rarely care about the cost. In this sense, I am a snob, and I pay the price for it. With all that said, I wouldn’t trade my life for anything. I have the best teammates, my derby wives are amazing, my body feels great, I am a part of something that is bigger than me, bigger than Santa Cruz Rollergirls, I am part of a fast growing community of women just like me!