Lulu Lockjaw

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

It feels like forever ago

Um…Holy Crap…We won! We effing won the bout against the LADD Sirens 128-122. I am still in shock. I mean LA is a big deal. I know I keep saying that, but they are a big deal.

I was petrified for two weeks before this bout, especially after finding out that I would be jamming. The day of the bout was the worst bit of anxiety that I’ve ever had before a bout. I actually slept well the night before, but I had extremely weird derby dreams, where SCRG was bouting SVRG, but it was all underwater. That had me freaked out, I was reading into my dreams, thinking I was going to lose it.
Even at breakfast I couldn’t keep my cool, I had a mild freak out, sorry Eden! I did get really awesome hugs from everyone though! All day I tried to keep my mind occupied, running errands, hanging out with my boyfriend, laughing with the wives, anything to keep the fear from setting in. There is this monkey that hangs out in my head; usually the monkey is dormant, but on days when I am doing something critical, he starts telling me that I suck. It’s quite frustrating, especially when I start to believe him.When I got to the Civic, my nerves were out of control. I couldn’t sit still, I wandered around, put my war face on (totally kidding), got more hugs, had the lesbots work on me. Finally it was time for warming up; I put on all my gear and got out on the track. We did a nice team warmup, I practiced some starts and jamming through the pack, the floor was slippery, scary! My mouth was dry as a bone, I couldn’t catch my breath! I kept thinking, “Why do I do this? Isn’t this supposed to be fun?” Even when we were lined up to get announced, I turned to Weezy and told her I wanted to go home. Of course she looked at me like I was crazy! As we got announced, I couldn’t even look at the crowd.

We huddled up, we stomped our feet, we chanted, I got chills, I was READY!

Some times I need to be so nervous to push me to do my best. My boyfriend told me to be nervous, but to harness it, and use it during the game. And I used it. I jammed a lot this game, that when I did go into the pack, I was more scared to block than to jam! Wow, I actually like jamming! There are definitely plays, strategies, ideas that I need to work on and our team needs to work on, but I am so proud of us. We came together as a team, used everything we’ve learned over the last 2 months and communicated. The best compliment of the night was when PITA leaned over to me in the pack and told me that they had completely underestimated us and that at half time they had to scramble to counter our plays, which they did nicely. She told me that she would be surprised if we weren’t WFTDA by the end of the year!!!!

Overall, best bout I’ve ever played. I was confident, but not cocky. I was physically and mentally prepared. I made mistakes and I learned from them. I played hard and I played smart. I played as a team; I did not play my own game out there. Most importantly, I HAD FUN. Because as nervous and anxious as I get before a bout, as soon as that whistle blows, I’m playing derby, and that makes me happy!


  1. Well we did notice that you were a bit 'demure' during the first part of the bout.
    Your play however, was by far the best I'd ever seen - and that was against the best visiting jammers I'd ever seen.
    In the second half though the REAL Lulu showed up, yelling at everybody (including her own team mates), frantically gesturing the pack back, barely able to keep her seat in the penalty box, and basically doing everything she could to WILL her team to victory. Nobody wants it more or fights for it like The Real Deal.
    It's very cool to hear about the headcase inside of the shining star. ;-)

  2. I get terrible pre-game jitters. Doesn't matter the scale of the game. I'd rather sit quietly by myself until the whistle blows than do anything else.