Lulu Lockjaw

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Time to be Selfish or Selfless?

I know why I’m frustrated.  It’s because I want to control everything, but I don’t wanna be in charge.  I refused to run for the 2011 Board of Directors for a third term.  I need a break from the business side of the league.  I am the new WFTDA Liaison for our league.  My own committee of ME.  I am future thinking way too much.  I’m already skating in Portland at Western Regional’s and our team isn’t ranked and our season hasn’t started yet.  My biggest fear is that we won’t get ranked in time to qualify for Regional’s (because I know we have the skill to get there)!  I have been working on getting our schedule set for 2011 and I still need to fill two dates for the A team at home (May 21 and Sep 10 if anyone can make it).  Sometimes I wish I didn’t care so much, I think I would be a lot less stressed out.  My personal goal is to skate at a Regional Tournament, but I can’t make 13 other people have that same goal.  What if the rest of my team doesn’t have that goal, or the time or energy to make that goal a reality?  Then I have to let go, I can’t force people to want what I want.  We are a team, and we have to do what the team wants.  That is really hard for me to think or write because I don’t want to let go, I want people to work harder than I do.  Wow, I want, I want, I want!!!  I sound like a selfish little bitch. 

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